Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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