My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
