Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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