Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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