And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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