Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
