So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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