Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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