dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
