I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He better not be in your backpack
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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