Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
