Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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