there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
