it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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