Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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