Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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