Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
