But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
