butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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