playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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