I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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