wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
