Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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