I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
