oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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