I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My balls are so social today.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
