After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
