I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
