I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
