well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
