I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
FUCK WHALES
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
