I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
