i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
