Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
