Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
