How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
