3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
