We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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