Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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