Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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