just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
