hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
