if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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