he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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