guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
