Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
