I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
