Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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