Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
