she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
