I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He better not be in your backpack
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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