i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
