As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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