Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
