i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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