She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize