I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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