get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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